fear and loathing in los angeles

so ive hit my one year mark. one year of successfully living in los angeles. gotta admit even after all my success early on im a little scared. WHAT IF i dont make it as an actor? WHAT IF one of these scripts that everyone says are so good never sells? ive been a touring rock star. ive been an actor. ive been a wrestler. ive worked at the fucking zoo but ultimately im a thirty something guy with no college degree a scary look and lots and lots of job resistant tats. nothing remotely professional to put on a resume for anything other than acting. i decided i wanted to find a job job...just a part time thing to keep me flush between gigs....who the fuck would hire me? i want a future. i want to one day marry my girl and have a nice house and kids and a yard and a 401k(whatever that is) and never worry about money again....so then what if i dont make it in la as an actor????????? what ifs are bullshit but reality sometimes comes a knockin and what ifs become kinda crucial. who wants to go through life working at petco? not me. before it wasnt a big deal. actor or bust. homelessness isnt scary. then you find something you want. something more than just your own shit. then you realize that your choices have consequences.....what i wouldnt give for a magic wand...or at least 2 wishes....the third wish would be used to trick the djin back into the bottle before he killed me...ive seen wishmaster mother fucker! genies do NOT look like barbara eden.